Salaam. Today marks the 30th day of Ramadan. As everyone is in a frenzy prepping for Eid on Wednesday, Its important to reflect on the past month. As we end Ramadan, we cant help but feel like we didn’t do enough, like we didn’t do as much as we could. This month was about cleansing the mind, body and soul. It was the perfect time to flush all our desires of this dunya and begin fresh with a new mind slate. Every year at the end of Ramadan, I write down some of my favorite memories and ways I improved myself. This year felt different. This year I felt tired. This year I felt a little defeated.
You may be wondering, How could I get tired of Ramadan? The most holiest month of the year! Well, I wasn’t tired of fasting or submitting to my lord, in fact I desired all year long just for this month to come so I can purify my mind. For me I felt that this Ramadan was heart breaking. It was a sudden realization, a slap in the face kind of wake up call that everything that has been created will inevitably be destroyed. During these last few days of Ramadan, all I see is Turkey, Bangladesh, Syria, Orlando, Baghdad, Houston, Brooklyn, and Medina. Our Ummah is falling apart, Its turning on itself, its bleeding. How long will this go on until people will realize? How many children have to die before people realize? The world is so full of hate. Im tired of the hate, Im tired of the name-calling, Im tired of always having to defend myself as a muslim for the acts done by murderers. Ya Allah, Ease our Suffering, Ease the pain of those who’ve lost their loved ones days before Eid, Ease the pain that will continue to grow because of Peoples Intolerance.
This month was a wake up call that Qiyam is near. Its scary but inevitable. Its the month to look back at your past self and continue to strive to become better.
This month I especially decided to focus on myself. ITs important to help others and care for their feelings but before attempting to help and guide someone, you need to fix yourself first. I held on to this principle during Ramadan because I wanted to become a person that people could rely on but I also wanted to be the person that I myself could rely on. The only way of doing this was to strengthen my connection with my lord. Before Ramadan began, I wrote a list of duas in a notebook so I wouldn’t miss anything that I wanted to ask for. This was so helpful during iftaar time because instead of waiting those last few minutes waiting to eat, my thoughts were filled with my loved ones and the blessing I wished they receive. Since this was the last summer I would be spending at home before going off to College, I wanted to make sure that I would be guided next year. A good friend of mine told me that vocalizing duas was effective during times of frustration. So I began to vocalize my duas, I began to cry when I talked to Allah, I began to laugh, I began to build a strong connection. The time I made dua, and salaat and made ibadaat was not only spiritually cleansing but it made me feel safe and secure. ❤
My last reflection is that Im thankful. There are so many people in the world dying of hunger, dying of disease, dying of war and yet I was granted the life I have today. All I can say to that is Alhamdulillah. There are many people who find the idea of fasting so ridiculous. Some people never truly understand the reason behind why muslims fast. While fasting only gives us a taste of what hunger is like, It helps us understand the hardships faced by those around the world that can never fill their stomachs. It is undoubtedly the most empathic and spiritual thing you can do.
Thankyou for Reading! Btw, this top is from Byzayd! There having a Ramadan Sale, so If your looking for super awesome islamic t-shirts, their your go-to shop. (legit, Im obsessed with them)
Ive included some charities here that would appreciate some kindness ❤ ( Click the blue Links)
Doctors without Borders
Inshallah until next time ❤